The Mall of America

Just imagine a deep booming voice welcoming you to MALL OF AMERICA, the real reason we came to Minnesota. We're not alone in our lunacy; the mall receives 40 million visitors each year (more than twice the number of visitors to downtown Minneapolis and St Paul), making it the most visited shopping center in the world. Why, you ask? Well, for a start, it has a gross area of 96.4 acres. Nearly half of that is retail space for the 530 stores that give the Mall of America the distinction of having more vendors than any other shopping mall in the United States. Then there's the reason it all exists in the first place, the fact that there is no sales tax on clothing or shoes in Minnesota.

Mall of America

We did pretty well in that regard. Stuff is so cheap over here to begin with, remove the tax and it almost feels as though you're stealing. For example, Daniel's choice sneakers cost between $180 and $220 back home. He picked up a pair here for $80. As you'll note below, they're lovely and garish. It's very American to strut around in shorts and pristine bright white sneakers, so throw in the trucker cap he picked up in Montana and he fits right in.

Haul

Speaking of fitting right in, we're starting to find ourselves unconsciously mimicking American accents. Especially here, where people speak with such a Germanic drawl. Large numbers of Scandinavian and German immigrants moved to these northern states in the late nineteenth century, resulting in a dialect known as North-Central American English, or the Minnesota Accent. Certain vowels sound so familiar that we mirror them in conversation without intending to. That said, still nobody can understand a thing we say. We usually have to repeat ourselves - the first time around they're more interested in the accent than the content. Apparently "nobody comes to Minnesota", so we're quite the novelty. For two very shy people, we actually enjoy this immensely. We've found that being off the beaten path is much more conducive to conversation and cultural exchange than visiting, say, New York City or Los Angeles.

Now, back to business. Did I mention that the largest indoor amusement park in the United States is located smack bang in the middle of the Mall of America? Danny was giddy like a kid in a candy store. Inside an amusement park. Inside a shopping mall.

Dannytello (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ride)

Lego Transformer and Amusement Park

We did, of course, ride a couple of the roller coasters. It was here we met the first person to be unimpressed by our Australian origin. The kid next to us in line very kindly asked if we wanted to share a row of seats, even though Danny warned this kid that he screams like a girl. "Are you Packers fans?" he asked, referring to Wisconsin's Green Bay Packers (NFL). When we responded that no, we weren't from around here, he narrowed his eyes and glared at us with a level of suspicion and contempt unbecoming of a ten-year-old. He didn't say anything but "Go Packers" for the rest of the ride, and departed without so much as a goodbye.