Life Elevated

Thanks to the limitations of our pathetic spare tire we meandered from Monument Valley to Moab, a small adventure town in southeast Utah. It was like driving through a dream. The Utah slogan is Life Elevated, and it's easy to get high on the scenery of this fascinating state. The lowest point in Utah is 2350 feet above sea level, and the highest is 13528. The below photos are just a teaser - wait for the next two posts...

 
It was Saturday afternoon when we arrived in Moab, and the only tire shop in town doesn't open on the weekends. We'd been giving our spare tire a workout, blissfully ignorant as to the likelihood of it blowing, but we had a 500 mile drive back to Vegas on Monday morning. We had to arrive by lunchtime to make our flight and, even if the tire was likely to hold for that distance, 50 miles an hour wasn't going to cut it.

The old boys in the local auto store put us in touch with the guy who runs the tire shop in Monticello, an hour out of Moab. We'd actually driven past it earlier that day, but we're idiots and didn't stop because it wasn't hire company-approved. As it turns out, we had no choice but to go back to Monticello and get it sorted Sunday morning. It cost us $40, which the hire company reimbursed anyway.

A Western Wonderland

Leaving Las Vegas was like being able to breathe again. There are some extraordinary cities in America - good, bad and ugly - but I'm just not enjoying them as much as the wide open spaces that abound here. Compared to places like Vermont, the Olympic Peninsula and the rugged western coast, the cities seem stale and not as distinctively 'American.' Our next destination was Monument Valley, near the border between Arizona and Utah, and it is hard to think of a more iconic and recognisable landscape.

We left Vegas well before sunrise and our first stop along the way was the Hoover Dam, which straddles Nevada and Arizona across the Colorado River. A perk of travelling at this time of year is that we often find ourselves alone at tourist attractions and able to enjoy them without interruption. We had the entire Hoover Dam to ourselves. The road that crosses the Dam itself is now only a tourist route - a large bridge has been built next to it as a traffic bypass. You can walk along the edge, and it affords an wonderful view of the Dam.

Hoover Dam

Driving through the Arizona desert yielded a surprise - snow. It was naive of us, but this wasn't something we were expecting. Even though signs by the road told us our elevation was more than 5000 feet above sea level, it was so jarring to see snow-covered red rock.


If there exists a generic road-trip checklist, we ticked something off it today. We were just outside of Tuba City, Arizona, i.e. the middle of nowhere, when a warning light appeared on the dashboard. We pulled into an empty car park to investigate further, but the problem was not hard to find. The moment we opened the door our hearts sunk with a whoosh. Well, actually, our hearts sunk but the whoosh came from elsewhere. Years ago, when I got my first car, Dad insisted on teaching me how to change a flat tyre. As usual, I paid no attention, and so it was lucky that Danny happened to have been at that lesson too. And that the car came with an instruction manual. Less fortunate was it that our spare tyre happened to be a space saver.

Flat tire

Real man stuff

For some reason Danny didn't appear to relish this golden opportunity to exercise his man skills. Perhaps it didn't help that I stood there watching, laughing and taking photos. It wasn't long before we were back on the road, albeit limping along at a maximum fifty miles per hour. Have I mentioned how fast they drive over here? Out on the Interstates the speed limit is eighty miles per hour and everyone does the obligatory five to ten over - you do the math.

It was near sunset when we reached The View Hotel, Monument Valley. It's the only hotel in the Valley itself, on the Navajo Nation. This was the view from our balcony:

If you don't know the Valley from countless Western classics featuring John Wayne, you may well have seen it in Forrest Gump. The Mittens, as they're called, were bathed in the sunset light. We got up early the next morning to watch the sun rise behind them, casting them as silhouettes as the sky yellowed. It was spectacular but so cold.

The hotel, restaurant and store (where I bought some gorgeous turquoise earrings) are all obviously run by Navajo people, and the restaurant serves an array of local specialties. Our favourite was the frybread:

Navajo frybread with honey

I can't remember the exact details, but it's a fried, leavened bread that was, in this instance at least, made with blue corn. The light in the photo doesn't do the colour justice - it was the most delicious shade of smalt blue. You eat it drizzled with honey and it's just to die for. I might try and find a recipe when I get home.

Things We Wish We'd Never Eaten #5: In-n-Out Burger

This post come to you courtesy of Daniel himself, who feels that he is too often being maligned by me and would like some input of his own. I still retain editorial control over all content.

IN-N-OUT is a west coast burger institution, dating back to 1948 in SoCal. The menu is simple, the decor is retro-simple, the food is super fresh and the stores are ALWAYS packed. The chain has a cult following with fans ranging from Tucker Max to Gordon Ramsey.

The IN-N-OUT chain is privately owned and controlled by the Snyder family that started it all. As such, the quirks of the chain are consistent store-to-store and state-to-state across 250+ locations.  The best example of this has to be the Bible references that are printed in discreet places on wrappers and cups.

I have two theories on this little detail:

1)   They are selling a religious experience.

Being a burger aficionado, feel free to check my references, I am fully qualified to say that In-N-Out is an out of body experience.  The burgers, the shakes and the fries individually are beyond good, probably the best I’ve ever eaten, but together its just exceptional. Needless to say, I wouldn’t be too surprised to see a Jesus face in the oil splotch of an In-N-Out chip bucket.

2)   What they are selling will lead to a religious experience.

This is the theory that Sarah will most likely side with. A double-double meal (w/ shake) comes with (for the almighty sum of ~8 bucks) a whopping 1655 calories,  just a Mars Bar shy of your RDI… As such, it seems only dutiful that with such a heart hardening serve of deliciousness, they also provide you with some counseling and guidance for the after life.

Either way I’m not fussed, but burgers will never be the same again.

The UNLV Runnin' Rebels

For the first half of our trip the NBA lockout remained unresolved, and it seemed unlikely that we would get to see a game. Our next best option was the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association), and we went to a University of Nevada Las Vegas home game on our last night in Sin City.

College basketball, Vegas-style

UNLV Runnin' Rebels

The Division 1 team is currently ranked 18th and easily defeated the Canisius Golden Griffins. It was great fun to watch and a great atmosphere to soak up, but the level of basketball wasn't awe-inspiring and the Wildcats would have taken them down easily. Daniel devoured some stadium junk food and gleefully added a Rebels t-shirt to his ever-growing collection.

Grand Canyon by Helicopter

The Grand Canyon is a tourist mecca, and over five million visitors make what can only be described as a pilgrimage to it each year. We cheated and took a helicopter from Las Vegas. The night before hadn't ended until 0200 so when our 0600 transfer to the airport turned out to be a stretch limousine it barely eased our pain.

Transfer

Sitting up the front of the helicopter as we made our way across Nevada and Arizona and into the western side of the Grand Canyon was amazing. Unfortunately, though, the glare of the early light made it hard to see at times as we flew in the direction of the sun. We landed at the bottom of the Canyon, on land owned by the Hualapai people. A champage breakfast was provided for us to enjoy as we took in the incredible view.

It cost us an arm and a leg (both Daniel's), but it was an incredible and very easy way to see one of the greatest natural wonders of the world. In hindsight, I think we may have missed out on the true Grand Canyon experience, but that story comes later.

Viva Las Vegas

A more appropriate slogan would be 'Hasta la Vista, Vegas,' but even that suggests we'll be back. We won't. People we meet are always asking us what our favourite place or experience has been so far.  It's an impossible question, so we just say that we've loved everything except Las Vegas. Nobody has yet been surprised. I find myself not really wanting to waste words on it, and dot-points are really all I can be bothered with.

• We stayed at Planet Hollywood, where every room is themed around certain pieces of the memorabilia they've collected over the years. Our original room was a Mary-Kate and Ashley room (creepy), but on our second day we moved into a Baywatch room. For the next three nights we slept next to David Hasselhoff's red jacket and shorts (creepier)... 
• PH is, of course, also a casino, and the whole place is a head trip. The rooms are badly lit, presumably so you yearn for the bright lights of the casino floor. All the entrances and exits to the hotel take you through the casino itself. I suspect even the smallest details are calculated decisions - for example, none of the casinos have automated doors, but instead heavy glass ones that take a lot of energy to manually open.
• The Bellagio fountains were incredible. Equally incredible was the chocolate fountain inside.
• The strip is confusing to navigate and awash with hustlers, selling everything from home-recorded mixtapes to women.
• Alcohol is free while you are gambling - all you have to do is tip your scantily-clad cocktail waitress. We had a couple of well-watered evenings during which Daniel demonstrated exactly why the casinos give you free drinks. There appeared to be a inversely proportional relationship between his blood alcohol level and the amount of money left in his wallet.
• Daniel did, however, manage to win (recoup) $140 on a slot machine from a free $5 credit and $1 of his own hard-earned money.
• We went to a show called the Tournament of Kings, in which Fabio lookalikes jousted and fought with swords. While we watched we drank beer and ate whole chickens with our hands.

Ugh. I can't even be bothered putting up photos. Apologies for the particularly uninspiring post, but I feel dirty even just remembering all this stuff, let alone writing it down.

Things We Wish We Hadn't Eaten #4: Junk Food

We discovered an anomaly at Burger King (Hungry Jacks) that captures the essence of America and sums up its many problems. Daniel ordered a double cheeseburger at a cost of $1.29 and I had a single cheeseburger at a cost of $1.59. Yes, that's correct (but so so wrong in so many ways) - a single cheeseburger in America is thirty cents MORE EXPENSIVE than a double cheeseburger. Go figure. Daniel says I should just order a double and remove one of the patties, but I refuse to on principle.

We actually haven't been eating much fast food, even though it seems to be somewhat of a local delicacy over here. It's true that America has an obesity problem - let us show you why.

1. McRib. This McDonalds favourite only appears sporadically and is met with much rejoicing. Never mind that it's not sold in Australia because it contains a chemical that is used to make gym mats springy. This didn't seem to bother Daniel the chemist.

You may be able to tell that this photo was taken some kilograms ago

The belly of the beast

Did you catch the look of bliss on his face? The amount of food on that tray is due to another fast food curiosity - cheeseburger meals at McDonalds only come with two cheeseburgers. Mind-boggling.

2. Cheetos. Daniel called these 'poor people food' but proceeded to demolish a bag the size of an average American trailer-park home. We were at the top of Hurricane Ridge, up in the Olympics, with a spectacular view that reached as far as Canada in some spots. It was freezing cold, windy and there was a sign that said please be careful with your food because it may attract bears. But never fear, Daniel showed more courage than he did when faced with a horse.

Who's the big bear now?

3. Cinema food. What you see below is a medium popcorn combo. The scale isn't particularly apparent in the photo, but the bucket of popcorn was the size of Danny's abdomen. HUGE. Goodness knows what a large would have looked like.

A medium popcorn combo